I spent the morning uncovering the raised bed, turning some compost, and then raking up a few remnants of winter leaves scattered across the backyard. Except for allergies, I love this time of the year. Fall is great and all, but Spring seems more up my alley.
In the next two weeks, I’ll work at potting tomatoes and Pepper seedlings, and then I’ll get the green beans and squash seeds started. By mid-June, we should begin to see some great crops produce!!!
This week I had the following question asked to me by friend Gretchen (who gave me permission to use it as a blog post). I’ll be honest; I’ve had a hard time answering it. Right now, I’m on vacation. It’s early, the cabin is quiet, and I’m enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee while I write this. There are some people out there who will try to get you to buy a course on Work-Life Balance. But the truth is, save your money. Work / Life Balance is all bull.
Part of the reason I hate this phrase is that it is basically saying one of the two is negative. Either your work life is negative, or your life at home is negative. So to achieve happiness, you need to balance them, so one doesn’t interfere with the other.
We’re taught don’t let home life negatively affect our work, and for goodness’ sake, don’t let the work life negatively affect your home life. The problem is we’re conditioned to compartmentalize everything and become actors staring in different plays at different times of the day. No wonder our mental health is so jacked up in this country.
The truth is that’s all BS, and there are a ton of people who spend thousands each year trying to find balance.
Newsflash: Balance doesn’t exist because it’s all one thing- LIFE.
Work is the reason I get up in the morning at 5:30 am. Family is the reason I come home. Hobbies are the reason I can disconnect and breathe. Each has its ups, downs, and stresses, but in the end, it’s just life.
Listen…
I have failed as a leader at work.
I have failed as an author.
I have failed as a friend.
I have failed as a father.
And I have failed as a husband.
You learn how to do it all as you go. But that still doesn’t answer the question- how do I blog, podcast, be an effective leader in the workplace, be present with my kids, write stories, love my wife, garden, game, and watch shows?
I’m not sure I do all of this all the time. It may appear that way, but I try to be proactive in my approach. Sitting the phone down at night to focus on my wife and kids is hard. It’s a challenge. I have to be proactive at it. I have to make it a habit to place it on silent and on the mantle. Why silent? Because if someone calls and they need to get a hold of me, they can leave a message. It’s that simple. I also turn notifications off. That has been an enormous help. I don’t see a notification unless I click on the app.
As far as podcasting and writing go, I make time because I love doing it. The podcast started for my sanity. I don’t talk about politics, religion, or current events online. One- Those conversations are not crucial to me. Two- I find them boring because it’s the same people making the same tiring arguments from both sides. Three- They always turn toxic, and honestly, they are very uncreative discussions.
So the podcast birthed out of myself and my friends just wanting to have fun geeky conversations without all the mess of toxic fandoms.
Regarding writing- 90% of all my writing is done on my phone or iPad. A large portion of my blog is written in my WordPress Jetpack app.
Being a Dad who writes, I don’t have the luxury of waiting for the perfect mood or setting for the muse to hit. I have to go. If that means I’m writing Iggy & Oz at a stop light, checkout line, or Doctors office, I do it. If something is important to you, you do it. That’s how I feel about blogging and writing stories. You make it work. It’s not about balance.
Everything else. Gardening, playing video games and watching my favorite shows. I don’t do those things every day. But I do them and find time to do them because I love doing them.
You don’t have to block out huge chunks at a time. Ten minutes here or there is all it takes. I may read only a chapter a day or consume mostly audiobooks, but I make time for the things I love.
I don’t scroll endlessly on TikTok, Instagram, Or Twitter anymore. Sure, I show up, but it’s in little spurts here and there. Heck, YouTube has become my social media of choice, and 90% of all my Social Media posts are in my IG stories or me sharing a blog post.
It’s hard to find time to do everything in life, and there are things I give up. But at the end of the day, when you enjoy doing something because it’s a challenge or makes you happy, you find the time.
On March 10th, 2013, I registered the domain jjjohnsonWrites.com and started blogging/writing. What was my plan? There was no plan! Like most discovery writers I usually make it up as I go along. And to be fair, I was pretty upfront about it: the site is called jjjohnsonwrites– So what exactly am I writing? I’m writing about just whatever pops into my mind and what I feel like writing about for that day.
This, to be sure, is how my site continues today, nearly ten years later.
I’ve remained on WordPress this entire time. And with the exception of the last half of 2021, thru all of 2022, when I struggled with anxiety and some minor depression and needed a break from everything and everyone- I’ve been here blogging.
Many say blogging is dead. I beg to differ. There are a lot of lies about social media spaces, and prettier attractions always come along. Yet, my site has always been consistent, and when I show up here, to spew out random thoughts, so do readers.
Most posts are undoubtedly about writing, reading, being Geeky, and of course the kids. Some post are even on the finer joys of life: like Coffee. Why? Well, these are the things that interest me.
Writing here has become, sort of my life’s work. I Don’t get paid for it; it’s not monetized, nor is this the work most people read. Heck, this year I’ve already published well over 15,000 words of content on this site.
When I started writing here, I had only one child, a five-month-old son, and I had published only one short story: Compulsion. My life was in a very different place, professionally, politically, and spiritually than it is now.
I never planned for this place to be a personal blog or anything. But the reality is that is what it has become, and it probably will always be, just whatever I feel Like writing about because I want to or until my brain runs out of things to say. Which I’m hoping is unlikely anytime soon.
So, here is to another ten years.
Oh, and for kicks- Here is the very first post I put up. 47 Drafts: https://jjjohnsonwrites.com/47-drafts/
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It’s been 12 years since we lost my younger brother to his fight with addiction. Usually, I don’t like using social media or my site to talk about my sorrow, pain, or grief. I keep those for my private life and a few close friends. Besides, some people struggle so much more than I do anyway and need help, words of comfort, and focus. But 12 years later, my grief has left me to an extent.
Sure. Like his big bear hugs and spunky personality, I’ll always miss my younger brother. His annoying liberal talk and countless funny mistakes made you want to laugh. Those are the things I miss.
The hard part of addiction is: It kills. It does everything it can to break you until it wins. Whether pills, insecurities, alcohol, porn, sexual, control, or whatever. Addiction comes in different shapes, different disguises, and different methods.
But here is the deal. Addiction doesn’t need to define you. Addiction can be beaten or, at the least, locked away, chained up in some dark cave. Because the truth is addiction never leaves you.
That’s where the real battle is.
We, as men, know this all too well. Sometimes we, as men, find ourselves going off and sitting alone at the mouth of those caves. To think, to fight, and grasp hold of the battle. This is sometimes dangerous, especially when we try it alone. The worst part is- if a man can’t find the cave, we’ll create one out of whatever circumstances happen to be lying around. Temptation is strong, as is the need to withdraw.
We are all addicts in a sense. All of us are born with a natural tendency to sin, and not only to sin but to enjoy it, to justify it, to embrace it.
Thankfully when God looks at us who follow Him in faith, He doesn’t see the sin, the addiction, the hurts, the habits, or the hang-ups.
When God looks at us- He sees the Cross.
What are three objects you couldn’t live without?
The Daily question
There are several things I know I could live without. Heck, I would venture to say there are some things I even “Say” I could live without. However, I also know I’ll miss certain items as soon as I discard something.
Take my smartphone, for example. I hate how addicted I find myself to it. I’m not too fond of the fact that we all have this feeling of missing out if we’re not all connected. But could I live without it? Sure, as long as everyone else is as well. It could be FOMO or something else. Does it matter?
But let’s get more practical. Let’s stay away from things like social media and smartphones. We all say we don’t want to be connected to them, but is that the truth? Could we live without them?
Here are my three objects/items I couldn’t live without.
One: I couldn’t live without books. I love books. I love reading. It’s always been my favorite hobby and pastime. If I couldn’t have a book, I would most likely go a little crazy.
Two: I couldn’t live without my coffee maker or some coffee maker. I need a way to make coffee. It doesn’t matter if it’s a french press, Aeropress, or a regular cheap coffee maker. If the apocalypse or WWIII started today, I would have coffee. That would be the first thing I panicked bought.
Three: The most important on this list: A Bible. I try hard every day to wake up and live by faith. I fail most days, as we all do. But God’s word gets me through my failures and sin and strengthens my walk with Him daily.
So there you have it. Three objects I couldn’t live without. What about you? What would be on your list? Let’s say the world started ending today. What are the three items you would grab to be sure to have with you during the apocalypse?
