Tag Archives: Encouragement

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Forgiveness- It’s a Bit Tricky

I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness this morning. There are many people I need to forgive: Like church leaders that severely hurt my wife and her sister or those in my past that have wronged me. Maybe it’s forgiveness towards those who ignored me when I needed help. Perhaps I need to ask for forgiveness from someone. Who have I wronged?

Forgiveness is a tricky thing. Because when it’s all said and done, forgiveness is never for the one you are forgiving.

It’s for you… And that’s why it’s hard. Because forgiveness doesn’t always make sense.

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Work – Life Balance- It’s all Bull

This week I had the following question asked to me by friend Gretchen (who gave me permission to use it as a blog post). I’ll be honest; I’ve had a hard time answering it. Right now, I’m on vacation. It’s early, the cabin is quiet, and I’m enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee while I write this. There are some people out there who will try to get you to buy a course on Work-Life Balance. But the truth is, save your money. Work / Life Balance is all bull.

Part of the reason I hate this phrase is that it is basically saying one of the two is negative. Either your work life is negative, or your life at home is negative. So to achieve happiness, you need to balance them, so one doesn’t interfere with the other.

We’re taught don’t let home life negatively affect our work, and for goodness’ sake, don’t let the work life negatively affect your home life. The problem is we’re conditioned to compartmentalize everything and become actors staring in different plays at different times of the day. No wonder our mental health is so jacked up in this country.

The truth is that’s all BS, and there are a ton of people who spend thousands each year trying to find balance.

Newsflash: Balance doesn’t exist because it’s all one thing- LIFE.

Work is the reason I get up in the morning at 5:30 am. Family is the reason I come home. Hobbies are the reason I can disconnect and breathe. Each has its ups, downs, and stresses, but in the end, it’s just life.

Listen…

I have failed as a leader at work.

I have failed as an author.

I have failed as a friend.

I have failed as a father.

And I have failed as a husband.

You learn how to do it all as you go. But that still doesn’t answer the question- how do I blog, podcast, be an effective leader in the workplace, be present with my kids, write stories, love my wife, garden, game, and watch shows?

I’m not sure I do all of this all the time. It may appear that way, but I try to be proactive in my approach. Sitting the phone down at night to focus on my wife and kids is hard. It’s a challenge. I have to be proactive at it. I have to make it a habit to place it on silent and on the mantle. Why silent? Because if someone calls and they need to get a hold of me, they can leave a message. It’s that simple. I also turn notifications off. That has been an enormous help. I don’t see a notification unless I click on the app.

As far as podcasting and writing go, I make time because I love doing it. The podcast started for my sanity. I don’t talk about politics, religion, or current events online. One- Those conversations are not crucial to me. Two- I find them boring because it’s the same people making the same tiring arguments from both sides. Three- They always turn toxic, and honestly, they are very uncreative discussions.

So the podcast birthed out of myself and my friends just wanting to have fun geeky conversations without all the mess of toxic fandoms.

Regarding writing- 90% of all my writing is done on my phone or iPad. A large portion of my blog is written in my WordPress Jetpack app.

Being a Dad who writes, I don’t have the luxury of waiting for the perfect mood or setting for the muse to hit. I have to go. If that means I’m writing Iggy & Oz at a stop light, checkout line, or Doctors office, I do it. If something is important to you, you do it. That’s how I feel about blogging and writing stories. You make it work. It’s not about balance.

Everything else. Gardening, playing video games and watching my favorite shows. I don’t do those things every day. But I do them and find time to do them because I love doing them.

You don’t have to block out huge chunks at a time. Ten minutes here or there is all it takes. I may read only a chapter a day or consume mostly audiobooks, but I make time for the things I love.

I don’t scroll endlessly on TikTok, Instagram, Or Twitter anymore. Sure, I show up, but it’s in little spurts here and there. Heck, YouTube has become my social media of choice, and 90% of all my Social Media posts are in my IG stories or me sharing a blog post.

It’s hard to find time to do everything in life, and there are things I give up. But at the end of the day, when you enjoy doing something because it’s a challenge or makes you happy, you find the time.

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What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

I’ve had so many different experiences in life it’s difficult to narrow down and say “this one made me grow.”

The daily question: what experiences have helped you grow the most

We all face challenges. We all face difficult circumstances. Yet, why does it need to be the negative that causes us to grow?

Maybe it’s because failure teaches us the most important lessons in life. But the world teaches us that failure is bad, it needs to be avoided, and that if we fail we’re done.

In my life I’ve learned to embrace failure. Not because I want to fail, but because I’ve learned that failure more than anything helps me grow.

My biggest failure was when I failed out of high school. While all my other friends were heading off to college, I was stuck trying to take a couple of correspondence courses just to get my last two credits in order to graduate.

What I learned here is that one failure doesn’t set you on a predetermined course. Failures can often, more times than many, be the thing that pushes you to keep going .

What about you? What experiences have helped you grow in your life?

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Mid-Week Rant: I Don’t Have to Enjoy What You Enjoy

Listen, I’m about to go on a Mid-week Rant: I don’t have to enjoy what you enjoy. And no, it’s about my friend Jason Joyner continuing to send me memes of Boise State beating the Sooners in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. That’s a different rant for a different day.

photo of the road
Photo by D0N MIL04K on Pexels.com

As an author, I’ve had my share of bad reviews. Heck, I’ve had many people, not like Iggy & Oz. Most of these are adults and/or other writers. They often leave an adult critique for a book that is basically Pulp for boys who hate to read. And guess what- Their criticism is mostly true. It ain’t literature, after all. It’s not pretty writing. 

Still, many people love Iggy & Oz, and that’s who I write for.

I had to learn this the hard way. I had to learn many of the things I enjoy in my life, other people will think is strange.  

Listen, every story, YouTube video, RPG, drawing, TikTok, painting, camping trip, vacation, IG post, reel, and even-prepped food, needs to be seasoned with your voice, heart, and difference. 

We live in a society that pushes generic living and removes the individualistic nature of many. 

Seth Godin is one of my go-to Bloggers every day. He wrote this recently.

Most people want you to make something cheap, write something short, share something funny, and fit in.

But the people you serve… they might want something else.

The few people you need to thrive in your work might want you to write something they’ll remember for a long time, or to take them on a journey that’s thrilling and challenging and unique.

Or perhaps these are the people that want to buy something that costs a lot but is worth more than it costs.

It’s okay to say, “it’s not for you,” to most people.

In fact, that’s the only way to do work that matters. 

This is my Mid-Week Rant: I Don’t Have to Enjoy What You Enjoy