Category Archives: Life

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Reflecting on a Chaotic Summer: Triumphs, Challenges, and Healing

As the summer draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on the whirlwind of events that have shaped these past few months. It’s been a chaotic and busy summer, and unfortunately, my blogging took a backseat amidst the flurry of activities. Nevertheless, I want to take this moment to share some significant highlights and experiences that have profoundly impacted my life.

Embracing Change and Healing

One of the major milestones of this summer was transitioning to a new church after my wife’s remarkable decision to resign from her 15-year stint serving on staff at our previous church. Her courage to step away from an environment that had subjected her to toxic, emotional, and spiritual abuse was both empowering and liberating. Sure our finances took a hit, but it was the right choice. As we embarked on this new chapter together we began attending a new church and despite not knowing many people, we decided to step out of our comfort zone and serve at our Vacation Bible School (VBS). I took on the role of games coordinator, she did snacks! Witnessing our mutual commitment to serving our community brought us immense joy. While I won’t delve deeply into the details of our previous church’s experience right now, it’s essential to acknowledge that we are both on a path of healing, growth, and renewed faith. Though there are still some wounds to tend to, we’re gradually finding solace in each other’s love and support.

Triumph in Publishing – Iggy & Oz Series

Another remarkable achievement this summer was the successful Kickstarter campaign for the fourth book in the Iggy & Oz series. With great pride and gratitude, we were able to not only meet our funding goal but also surpassed it by 200%. The overwhelming support from our readers and fans made this experience truly heartwarming. The Iggy & Oz series has become a passion project close to my heart, and witnessing its continued success brings immense fulfillment.

A Journey of Struggle and Success – Realm Makers Writers Conference

Amidst the busy schedule, I made it a point to attend the esteemed Realm Makers writers conference. This year held special significance for me as my book, “Iggy & Oz: The Living Snot,” was honored with the award for the best middle-grade book. This recognition was particularly meaningful as this book was written during a time when I was battling severe anxiety. The writing process served as a cathartic outlet, and the award felt like a well-deserved acknowledgment of the challenges I had overcome.

Collaborative Creativity – “Interstice Undone”

Currently, I’m engaged in an exciting cowriting project with fellow authors Steve Rzasa and Jason Joyner. Together, we are crafting an epic crossover story that features all our beloved characters. Titled “Interstice Undone,” this collaborative effort is a testament to the power of unity and creativity. Working alongside these talented authors has been an inspiring journey, and we can’t wait to share the final result with our readers.

As I look back on this chaotic and eventful summer, I’m filled with a mix of emotions – from the joy of triumphs to the somber reflections of healing. Through it all, I’m grateful for the love and support of my wife, the encouragement of my readers, and the camaraderie of fellow writers. These experiences have strengthened my faith, fueled my creativity, and reminded me that even amidst chaos, there are moments of triumph and healing worth cherishing. I look forward to the days ahead, where I can continue sharing my journey and stories with all of you. Until then, thank you for being a part of this rollercoaster summer.

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Mondays Stink!!!

Ah, Mondays. The day of the week that nobody looks forward to. The day when the weekend is over and the workweek begins. The day when coffee is no longer a luxury but a necessity. Yes, Mondays stink. And if you’re anything like me, you probably feel like you need an IV drip of coffee just to get through the day- To quote Lorelai Gilmore.

happy coffee
Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

But why do Mondays have to be so terrible? Maybe it’s because we’ve spent the last two days living it up, and now we’re paying the price. Or maybe it’s because Mondays are just inherently cursed. Whatever the reason, there’s no denying that Mondays are the worst.

For starters, getting out of bed on a Monday morning is an uphill battle. You’re groggy, disoriented, and you’ve probably hit the snooze button on your alarm at least five times. And when you finally do manage to drag yourself out of bed, you’re hit with the realization that you have an entire week of work ahead of you. Ugh.

Then there’s the commute. Whether you’re driving or taking public transportation, Mondays always seem to bring out the worst in people. Drivers are more aggressive, commuters are more irritable, and everyone seems to be in a rush to get to their jobs. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll spend the entire commute fantasizing about all the different ways you could quit your job and become a professional trout bum.

But let’s not forget about the actual work. Mondays are usually filled with meetings, emails, and catching up on everything you missed over the weekend. And even if you managed to get some work done over the weekend, it’s never enough. You’re always playing catch-up on Mondays, and it feels like you’re constantly behind.

And then there’s the coffee. Oh, the coffee. Without it, Mondays would be even more unbearable. But even with it, Mondays still suck. You’re constantly refilling your mug, trying to stay awake and alert, and praying that the caffeine kicks in soon. And if you’re really desperate, you might start fantasizing about that Gilmore IV drip of coffee we mentioned earlier.

But hey, it’s not all bad. Mondays can be a great excuse to procrastinate. You know you should be working, but instead, you’re scrolling through social media, watching funny cat videos, and reading blogs about how much Mondays suck. And who knows, maybe you’ll even find some inspiration for your next meme or TikTok video.

And let’s not forget about the silver lining. Once you make it through Monday, the rest of the week will be a breeze. Well, maybe not a breeze, but at least it won’t be Monday. (Unless you’re like I was like week and have a week of Mondays.) And before you know it, the weekend will be here again, and you’ll have two whole days to do absolutely nothing.

So there you have it. Mondays suck, but they don’t have to be the end of the world. Embrace the coffee, procrastinate a little (or a lot), and remember that the rest of the week is just around the corner. And who knows, maybe someday we’ll all have access to that IV drip of coffee we’ve been dreaming of. Until then, let’s just try to survive Mondays one week at a time.

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Shut Up and Just Listen

At the height of my struggle with anxiety, I remember how pompous some people were. Okay, pompous is too strong of a word. They meant well. But I remember telling a few people I was struggling, and the first thing a few did was quote scripture back to me. Now don’t get me wrong, scripture is comforting. It is life-changing. But what I needed in those moments was not for someone to offer words of wisdom or to quote scripture I already knew. What I needed at that moment was for someone just to listen.

woman sitting on wooden planks
Photo by Keenan Constance on Pexels.com

That’s the hard part. When you struggle and we scream out for help, it often feels like no one wants to listen. And even as I type this, I know that I as well suck at this. I suck at listening. When my wife was at the tip of dealing with hurt from toxic leaders in our church we were attending- I sucked at listening.

One of my goals this year is to offer less advice and try and listen when someone is hurting. Sometimes that is what people need more, and sometimes that is the last thing we think to offer.

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Moving Day- And Random Thoughts on Pond Fishing

Today we moved my wife’s grandmother into a retirement community. She’s 89 and still getting around well.

In the world of retirement communities, this one is one of the best I’ve seen. I have a sinking suspicion she’ll enjoy it here. One perk is the pond! So, I’m hoping it’s a place I can take the boy fishing, and she comes down and give a few pointers.

I spent a lot of time out on her land fishing in the large fishing ponds she had on her property. I love pond fishing. Everyone gets excited about fly fishing, but there is something memorable about finding a good pond and casting your line.

Anyway, here’s hoping Baba loves her new place.

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Work – Life Balance- It’s all Bull

This week I had the following question asked to me by friend Gretchen (who gave me permission to use it as a blog post). I’ll be honest; I’ve had a hard time answering it. Right now, I’m on vacation. It’s early, the cabin is quiet, and I’m enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee while I write this. There are some people out there who will try to get you to buy a course on Work-Life Balance. But the truth is, save your money. Work / Life Balance is all bull.

Part of the reason I hate this phrase is that it is basically saying one of the two is negative. Either your work life is negative, or your life at home is negative. So to achieve happiness, you need to balance them, so one doesn’t interfere with the other.

We’re taught don’t let home life negatively affect our work, and for goodness’ sake, don’t let the work life negatively affect your home life. The problem is we’re conditioned to compartmentalize everything and become actors staring in different plays at different times of the day. No wonder our mental health is so jacked up in this country.

The truth is that’s all BS, and there are a ton of people who spend thousands each year trying to find balance.

Newsflash: Balance doesn’t exist because it’s all one thing- LIFE.

Work is the reason I get up in the morning at 5:30 am. Family is the reason I come home. Hobbies are the reason I can disconnect and breathe. Each has its ups, downs, and stresses, but in the end, it’s just life.

Listen…

I have failed as a leader at work.

I have failed as an author.

I have failed as a friend.

I have failed as a father.

And I have failed as a husband.

You learn how to do it all as you go. But that still doesn’t answer the question- how do I blog, podcast, be an effective leader in the workplace, be present with my kids, write stories, love my wife, garden, game, and watch shows?

I’m not sure I do all of this all the time. It may appear that way, but I try to be proactive in my approach. Sitting the phone down at night to focus on my wife and kids is hard. It’s a challenge. I have to be proactive at it. I have to make it a habit to place it on silent and on the mantle. Why silent? Because if someone calls and they need to get a hold of me, they can leave a message. It’s that simple. I also turn notifications off. That has been an enormous help. I don’t see a notification unless I click on the app.

As far as podcasting and writing go, I make time because I love doing it. The podcast started for my sanity. I don’t talk about politics, religion, or current events online. One- Those conversations are not crucial to me. Two- I find them boring because it’s the same people making the same tiring arguments from both sides. Three- They always turn toxic, and honestly, they are very uncreative discussions.

So the podcast birthed out of myself and my friends just wanting to have fun geeky conversations without all the mess of toxic fandoms.

Regarding writing- 90% of all my writing is done on my phone or iPad. A large portion of my blog is written in my WordPress Jetpack app.

Being a Dad who writes, I don’t have the luxury of waiting for the perfect mood or setting for the muse to hit. I have to go. If that means I’m writing Iggy & Oz at a stop light, checkout line, or Doctors office, I do it. If something is important to you, you do it. That’s how I feel about blogging and writing stories. You make it work. It’s not about balance.

Everything else. Gardening, playing video games and watching my favorite shows. I don’t do those things every day. But I do them and find time to do them because I love doing them.

You don’t have to block out huge chunks at a time. Ten minutes here or there is all it takes. I may read only a chapter a day or consume mostly audiobooks, but I make time for the things I love.

I don’t scroll endlessly on TikTok, Instagram, Or Twitter anymore. Sure, I show up, but it’s in little spurts here and there. Heck, YouTube has become my social media of choice, and 90% of all my Social Media posts are in my IG stories or me sharing a blog post.

It’s hard to find time to do everything in life, and there are things I give up. But at the end of the day, when you enjoy doing something because it’s a challenge or makes you happy, you find the time.