It’s been 12 years since we lost my younger brother to his fight with addiction. Usually, I don’t like using social media or my site to talk about my sorrow, pain, or grief. I keep those for my private life and a few close friends. Besides, some people struggle so much more than I do anyway and need help, words of comfort, and focus. But 12 years later, my grief has left me to an extent.

Sure. Like his big bear hugs and spunky personality, I’ll always miss my younger brother. His annoying liberal talk and countless funny mistakes made you want to laugh. Those are the things I miss.

The hard part of addiction is: It kills. It does everything it can to break you until it wins. Whether pills, insecurities, alcohol, porn, sexual, control, or whatever. Addiction comes in different shapes, different disguises, and different methods.

But here is the deal. Addiction doesn’t need to define you. Addiction can be beaten or, at the least, locked away, chained up in some dark cave. Because the truth is addiction never leaves you.

That’s where the real battle is.

We, as men, know this all too well. Sometimes we, as men, find ourselves going off and sitting alone at the mouth of those caves. To think, to fight, and grasp hold of the battle. This is sometimes dangerous, especially when we try it alone. The worst part is- if a man can’t find the cave, we’ll create one out of whatever circumstances happen to be lying around. Temptation is strong, as is the need to withdraw.

We are all addicts in a sense. All of us are born with a natural tendency to sin, and not only to sin but to enjoy it, to justify it, to embrace it.

Thankfully when God looks at us who follow Him in faith, He doesn’t see the sin, the addiction, the hurts, the habits, or the hang-ups.

When God looks at us- He sees the Cross.