I wrote words today, and they were crappy. 

Every time I start a new draft of a new story, my self-doubt kicks in. It sits on my shoulder, quietly whispering- “This is the worst thing ever. Why do you even bother?”

No matter how many readers you have, no matter how many sales, or awards you bring home, the voice is there. 

Every writer hears it. A writer that says they don’t need a little ego check, or they’re a liar. Tuning the voice out is more manageable over time, but he is there stalking us, waiting to leap up at us. 

I call my stalker Shadow. Because usually, that’s when he appears. When I find myself isolated and alone and no longer surrounded by encouragement, Shadow is there, mocking me thru bad reviews. Shadow causes me to doubt the story; he causes me to quit for days, weeks, and maybe even months. 

I wrote words today, and they were crappy. And Shadow is trying to remind me that they won’t get any better. 

John 10:10 says that “A thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy…” 

Shadow is the thief. He steals my joy, my love for storytelling, and my desire to see people moved by the stories I tell. 

Shadow wants to kill my momentum. He doesn’t want me to share anything about finding freedom in Christ. My personal story is the most powerful story I can tell. Christ gave me that story. Shadow wants to kill any chance of that story coming alive in the stories I spin on a page. 

Shadow wants to destroy my career. He wants me to give up, walk away, say I’m finished, and never set down to wrestle with the characters again. 

Self-doubt isn’t always a spiritual struggle. But sometimes, we fight with Shadow, not knowing how to escape his watchful eye. 

Thankfully we sing praises to the one “who comes to give life, a better life than you ever dreamed of.”

That doesn’t mean it will be easy. Sometimes it’s hard. And we need to write thru the hard.

I wrote words today, and they were crappy. 

And that’s Okay! 

P.S. Be sure to pre-order from friend B.L. Dean’s new Space Opera series coming soon. Click Here